FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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