I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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