Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
