He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
