He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
