Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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