After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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