Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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