can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
