my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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