That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
