did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize