we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
