o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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