i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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