ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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