i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Drunk is a universal language darling
My feet surprised me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
