I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
