Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
