airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i think my cat just said my name.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Text me some of your sweat
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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