he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
