I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
