Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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