How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
