using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
