Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She's the barista slut.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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