My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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