this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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