Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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