come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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