Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
