If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
