Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
