He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
