Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't deserve a penis
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
