ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
