you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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