I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
