she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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