Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
