I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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