There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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