Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
