Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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