I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
