I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
