no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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