And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
