I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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