I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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